Mourning the Ninth Doctor

You never forget your first Doctor, right?

My introduction to Doctor Who was less than two weeks ago, when family members were watching an episode from the 9th Doctor's series. It was sort of a mundane introduction - not the best for appreciating performances, simply because I was spending most of the (second of a 2-parter) episode trying to understand it all. My previous exposure to Doctor Who had mostly been mentions here and there on TV Tropes.

Then my mom, brothers, and I sat down to watch the first episode. It was fun, and I was more than willing to continue watching it. Then came the second episode, and I realized that, whatever I would find out about any other Doctors, this one was was definitely special. This one - my first and, for a few more hours, my only Doctor - touched my heart. I felt for him in a way that I previously only felt for Sherlock Holmes - YES, that's how big it is. It's difficult to describe the emotions at all, let alone with any precision, but Nine at once holds me at arm's length and makes me want to defy that attitude and comfort him, take away the pain.

"Dalek" did it for me. The way he's at first flat-out terrified of the Dalek and then whiplashes violently into an unstable mixture of delight, grief, rage, and hate. He scared me... and he broke my heart.

I still have five episodes to see, but last night, we watched the two-parter at the end of the series. I was quietly weeping with my hand over my mouth for the last fifteen or so minutes of "The Parting of Ways." I knew enough by now to know what was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. The 9th Doctor's last scene with Rose broke my heart into tiny little pieces. I'm still crying just thinking about it.

And no matter how much I enjoy David Tennant and Matt Smith, Christopher Eccleston will always be my Doctor. I'm sure I'll love Ten and Eleven, but I'll always mourn the fact that Nine's time with use was so terribly short. The 9th Doctor well and truly touched my heart.


...And now I have fanfic crossovers brewing in my head. Wholock? No thank you. How about... Wholmes? I'm seeing Nine and Canon!Holmes (or at least, headcanon!Holmes) together, and then Nine jumping forward a couple of centuries to... you guessed it, Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century. I'm also seeing an Alternate Universe in which dying!Nine takes the TARDIS back to 2100's New London, and Holmes and Lestrade get him rejuvenated, rather than Nine regenerating. For now (and maybe forever, unless the future 12th or even 13th Doctor turns out to be like the 9th), this tentative AU is going to have to be my consolation for losing Nine.